To a day from the future

Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.- Shams of TabrizEvery night I get to choose which comforter to sleep under. I hadn’t thought about the colors until tonight.

Tonight, I have chosen red over baby pink.
We probably are long past the idea that red represents love. I think it also represents restlessness. Winter has arrived politely but I feel unreasonably cold tonight. Is it not ironic, the fact that there is so much a heart has to deal with but all you feel is cold nonetheless?

There is a verse in the Holy Qur’an that says, ‘Indeed with hardship there is relief.’ But we, hasty, ungrateful and hopeless -more often than not- beings are humans. We probably cry all night not knowing life is doing us a huge favor.  They say give it to God and go to sleep. Does that mean it’s okay to cry yourself to sleep? Yes. Yes, it is. As useless as it might sound, it’s okay to express pain. It is alright if nobody cares about what you hide behind that lovely smile of yours. Because all of us suffer in one way or another. We are always so willing to take but give that there comes a point in our lives when we feel shattered and that is when we clearly are thinking about ourselves only we don’t see who else is suffering from an even worse situation. I think we just become aggressive.. enough to feel solely our pain. So may be if we try to look around us, we might find comfort in healing the wounds of those around us?

Come to think of it most of our problems are related to people; merely embodied souls-just with different hearts. Or is it just that our love for some people is so strong that we can not decide whether to wait or give up on them? Have you ever come across a similar feeling? Do you find yourself secretly praying for anyone? If yes, I guess its natural then. May be it’s okay to cry and long for them because before you know, this phase will pass. One day you won’t feel the same. You might just wake up one morning and feel complete. That is the day you will realize this is how it was meant to be. May be it made you a fool to cry but it also made you stronger to try. You won’t have any reason to hate people who leave because this is how it was supposed to be. Some people walk into our lives, make us happy, teach us lessons enough for a lifetime and leave. And all this while, it’s okay for tears to prick. After all ‘there is no compassion without suffering.’ Don’t turn yourself from it. Shed as many tears as possible. Don’t worry about people. They will die anyway. Don’t worry about tears. They will dry one day.

Doesn’t God say He is closer to us than our jugular vein? Perhaps we need to wait then? He sees our pain.Who can ever more clearly do? Perhaps that is why we are called humans. We expect people to see through us. We want someone as powerless as us to comfort us. We want to adorn our lives with the people we love. We can’t let go off them because there lives a devil inside us that keeps reminding us who WE need. It will never remind us who needs us. Know why? Because it brings out the worse in us- the selfish. But the scar people leave is stronger than the devil who grows inside us day after day. Probably because our hearts were created for love. Perhaps because people need to leave so others can get a chance within those possessive walls of our hearts where we think they would remain forever. Oh how often we forget there exists nothing in this world such as forever!

Sleep tight, dear readers. ❤

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