This is probably an understatement but I’m a very indecisive person. I don’t know why but I’ve always felt the need to ask people what I should and should not do. By the end of the day, I’ve asked so many people that this puts me in yet another dilemma of having to decide between a hundred different advices. I want to narrate one such instance because I know there are a lot of people out there who might be undergoing such situation themselves.
It was in 2014 that my mother got me enrolled in a Chartered Accountancy Institute. I don’t know what made me agree to her suggestion, which was more like a desperate solution to my never-ending problems. After months of refusal, that night, as I sat beside my mother, I agreed to get enrolled in the program. It was of course, an experience that taught me a lot and made me resist having more of it. After two wasted years, I started having second thoughts about my career. Come to think of it, I never envisioned myself as a Chartered Accountant. Yes, it does feel good to have that label with my name, but how about an Author? A literature major with one amazing story that sets me into becoming a well-accomplished author is what I wanted but was not quite sure. In January 2017, I took up a degree course in English Literature major. August 2017 was the most difficult time for me in terms of my academic decisions. I was torn between what to choose and what to leave. People told me hundreds of different things but deep down, I knew finance was not me. If I write Finance and Literature on a paper, the sight of the latter would make me as enthusiastic as that of the former would undermine my confidence. Thinking about all this makes me quite satisfied with the person I’ve become now. A few months ago, I was absolutely clueless about what I wanted but I guess sometimes it just takes a minute to make some of the wisest decisions of your life. I thought about it a lot. And as I sat there explaining my mother why I absolutely did not want to continue with CA, it hit me that that was it. I did not want to continue with CA.
And before I knew, it was over. They say the end is the beginning. With an end to CA, I put myself in an even bigger challenge; I was offered a job during my internship which I keenly accepted and if I had to regain the confidence I had lost during my crooked CA journey, I had to stick to this decision. To date, I’m managing my work and studies together. I’m sure it’s not a big deal; more than half of the students around this world successfully pull it off but I’m new to this, just beginning to adjust before my life changes further. Every day, I leave my house around 7:45am and its not until after 9:00pm that I return home. It is tiring but did I mention I’m as patient as I am indecisive. In hopes that what is to come will be far better than what exists, I continue. Let me tell you something. It is not easy. At times, its very devastating because there are a myriad of things I want to do right now. I want to: learn driving, learn French, find time to work out, build my portfolio, create a new blog, read a million books, write one of my own, learn different cuisines, and perhaps improve myself as a person. As much as I want to do all of this, I want to stay where I am for a while and watch things work out for me like they always have. When people ask me to quit my job, there’s an unfaltering sense of curiosity that hits me deep down; why? Why should I quit something I like doing? Yes, it is one hell of a day but I know better than to leave something I’ve just started and am just getting used to it. These are the times I need the said patience more than ever. Its 2.5 years until I graduate. 2.5 years until I enrol into Linguistics major. I think that’s a lot to help me adjust into this new way of life and find time for the other things I want. And so, in hopes of getting myself there, I end this piece but only to return to it soon.